So how are you going to toast while you’re working?
I’m already looking for a menu because I’d like to eat a burrito at lunch. Literally, the minute I found out, I said, “I’m eating a burrito. No one is going to stop me. I’m having a fucking burrito.” Normally, I go more in the salad direction. I begrudgingly eat a salad and supplement it with too many nuts.
Why are burritos off-limits? They’re not that bad for you.
I’m not even a burrito traditionalist. I want a whole-wheat burrito with chicken and guac and cheese and rice and lots of vegetables. I don’t even want some grotesque thing that’s going to make me feel like I’m about to give birth to twins. I just want something in the burrito family. There’s a place near here that’s going to satisfy my needs. I want to do that and then — this proves how dorky my celebration will be — I want to lie down and read all my New York Times from the week. I’m going to read my World of Interiors magazine, and I’m maybe going to eat some vegan cookies in my bed and listen to the new Ellie Goulding single over and over again. I’m saying rager. Tell all your friends.